“Nobody Wants That” on Netflix and the persistent Jewish stereotype

In fact, after watching the first two episodes of Nobody wants thatI called my mom and said, “I can’t imagine a man watching this show and then saying, ‘I really want to date a Jewish girl!’ We seem like controlling, marriage-hungry women who plan dinner parties and want to alienate anyone who doesn’t share those dreams.”

Take Rebecca, Noah’s soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, who is so desperate to get engaged to him that she manages to find the key to his private desk drawer, which contains the engagement ring he was going to give her, and then she it begins to be worn publicly. (“You were obviously going to propose anyway, and I don’t know why it took so long. Now we can skip the ‘Will you marry me?’ part because I’m saying yes!” she says, oblivious to be aware of how insane she is (sounds.)

Or what about Noah’s sister-in-law Esther, who seems to exist on screen – at first – to nag her husband Sasha? Granted, he often acts like a 13 year old boy who would be completely lost without her, but it’s still such an outdated Jewish image of the controlling/annoying woman who can’t stand her other half.

I give a little more grace to the character of Bina, Noah and Sasha’s mother. She is an immigrant from Russia and was raised to believe that her sons could only marry a Jewish woman. This is true for many Jewish families, and while so many Jewish mothers today just want their children to be happy – regardless of a partner’s sexual orientation or religious beliefs – I have more sympathy for the world she comes from.

But the moment that frustrated me the most occurs at the end of the first episode, where Noah has just finished his sermon when a few Jewish mothers swarm him, hoping to introduce their single daughters to them. (If these local moms could have planned a wedding, they probably would have.) “She just got over shingles!” one exclaims. “She just graduated from hotel management school,” says another. I think it’s supposed to be humorous, but it’s lazy and offensive. Of course, this is all done so that Noah can excuse himself to greet Joanne, who has come to visit him. When Esther asks Bina who that is, Noah’s mother angrily replies, “A shiksa,” as if she were the greatest enemy of all single Jewish women in the world.

Looking back, I’m a little surprised that I kept watching. I love being Jewish and I love that the Jewish religion has taught me to always welcome others and not leave anyone out. This scene in the temple is the exact opposite of what we Jews are taught to do – to welcome your neighbor. At a time when anti-Semitism is at its highest level since the Holocaust, scenes like this hit me hard.

So let’s call it curiosity that I looked at more. And to my surprise, I really, really enjoyed it. As the series progressed, Esther and Rebecca became softer and less like caricatures. Joanne tried to learn about Noah’s world and he hers. (Granted, she’s far from perfect either.) I could say more about how Joanne and her sister Morgan are glorified by the Jewish men on the show, which again felt stereotypical, but for the most part I was into that charming, hilarious and sexy relationship between Noah and Joanne to let her get to me.