I confessed my love to my Tinder match after two weeks

Lee and I matched on Tinder on October 26, 2018. At first, I assumed this match would be like all the others. We would talk for a few days, and if plans went beyond talking, it would involve wine, food, and sex.

On Valentine’s Day that same year, I had gone through a spectacularly hard breakup with my original partner after four and a half years. I had sworn off love and just wanted to be young and have fun on Tinder. I was trying to make up for my years in college, when I was in a committed relationship, and was firmly in my acting out phase.

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Lee was also fresh out of a long relationship

Similarly, Lee was also fresh out of a serious long-term relationship of almost seven years. His profile made it very clear that he was looking for short-term, casual connections. Sex, fun and no obligations.

But we are in love with each other.

Our first date almost didn’t happen

I canceled our plans about an hour before our first scheduled meeting. At the time, I was exhausted after a long day and knew I would be overstimulated at the bar.

I was still very interested in meeting Lee and quickly asked if we could meet at his place instead instead of canceling completely. The reason I gave was that I needed a more comfortable, less crowded atmosphere.

He was more than happy to meet me anyway, so I got some beer and drove to his place. He waited outside his building and walked to my car as I parked.

In person he looked very intimidating. His voice was much deeper than I expected when he told me that I had parked in the wrong parking space and needed to move to another one. To be honest, I wanted to go home immediately. I was nervous about meeting a strange man at his place at night and felt a little unsafe about the situation.

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One night quickly turned into a whole weekend

We went to his apartment and played Overcooked – a cooperative restaurant simulation game – for almost eight hours while having some of the best conversations I’ve ever had on a first date.

That night turned into another day, then another night and another day. We played more games, went to brunch around town, and laughed together for hours. Everything felt fun, comfortable and relaxed.

As I drove to my house on Monday, I smiled in a way I hadn’t in a long time. I attributed it to the fun activities, alcohol, and good conversation.

Love comes when you least expect it – even on Tinder

Over the next two weeks we saw each other as often as possible. We even found excuses to see each other between scheduled appointments.

During this time, we stubbornly referred to our budding relationship as “casual fun” to friends, family, and each other.

On November 9th – two weeks after our first date – we prepared for another sleepover weekend. I’ve been struggling these past few days with not admitting my feelings that had grown far beyond casual.

At 2 a.m., when we finally crawled under the covers to sleep, I couldn’t hold back my emotions any longer. In the dark, I quietly told him we needed to talk.

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“I know, this is way too fast,” I began, my heart beating fast. “I don’t need or expect you to feel the same way now, and I know it’s only been two weeks, but I need to tell you that I love you.”

Lee pulled me into his arms and we held each other in a silence that felt like an eternity but was probably less than a minute. He kissed me on the head and said, “I love you too. I was afraid to say anything because it seemed too soon, and I was worried it would scare you off.”

Our relationship that followed was full of love and laughter. We moved in together about a year later and got engaged a few months after that. We got married on May 8, 2021 and still live happily together with our dog Athena.

Online dating can be difficult

Online dating is difficult, and endless swiping can feel like standing still and pointless. But connections can be found in the most unlikely places, even if you’re not looking for them.

Be open to new experiences and maybe your next match on Tinder, Bumble or Hinge will be your forever love. Or maybe it will just be casual fun. In any case, you won’t know until you try.

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