Five rhetoric tricks: How to master difficult conversations

This text first appeared in July 2024.

The most common mistake when dealing with conversation partners who always want to be right is our impatience. “One of the biggest mistakes in discussions is believing that you already know what the other person wants to say,” explains rhetoric trainer Marie-Theres Braun. Because if you think you know what the other person is about to say, you tend not to wait for the answer, but instead immediately reel off your own argument, says Braun.

Everyone probably knows that. And you know the result of conversations: speech and counter-speech fly back and forth like ping-pong balls, but this does not lead to a better understanding, rather the fronts harden. In her new book “Convincing people who want to be right” (Campus Verlag), Braun explains that the so-called consistency effect is reinforced. It describes when you use any argument to make your point. All conversations end in resentment and incomprehension, regardless of whether it is about negotiating a salary at work or planning the next vacation with your partner.

Rhetoric trainer Braun recommends stopping exactly this automatism – and rather finding out at the beginning of a conversation what the other person really thinks or what they are essentially about.