How much of an absolute entity is Absolute Batman? A Newsarama investigation

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DC’s new Absolute Batman is huge. Calling everyone and shouting, “How tall is he?” like it’s just a joke… Except we actually took the time to really answer the question. Because as soon as writer Scott Snyder and artist Nick Dragotta first revealed the brand new version of the Dark Knight, most of the discussion centered around how Absolute Batman is an Absolute Unit. Snyder even mentions it in our interview.

Although we only have data from one issue so far, we went to the lab to dig through Absolute Batman #1 and create a comparative size range for Juiced Up Bruce based on the things he stands next to throughout the issue. So read on to find out if Absolute Batman is really the size of the giant penny usually seen in Batman’s Batcave. Light spoiler in advance…

Page #9: He’s bigger than a punching bag

When we first meet Absolute Bruce, there is a guy who is us allegedly I think he’s hitting a punching bag at Croc’s gym. Then our Big Boi himself comes in and hits the bag so hard that it breaks. Although it hangs above the ground, the hanging punching bag is on average about four to five feet tall – smaller than Bruce, who is also wider. As one viewer says, “Damn.”

Page #23: He’s bigger than three henchmen

Batman brings absolute pain in his first major fight for the matter against a group of thugs working for Black Mask. It’s difficult to see exactly how big he is in comparison, as Bruce’s cape stretches to unimaginable lengths, allowing him to walk on it (??) and whip them with it (???). But a panel on page 23 shows that Absolute Batman is definitely the size of three scrawny little henchmen if you crammed them all together in some sort of “Henchman Ball.” Not the most scientific description, but there you go.

Page #24: His legs are also the size of a henchman

On the next page, Batman performs a very impressive balancing act by kicking two henchmen in the face at the same time. And each of his legs is about the same size as one of the henchmen. To reiterate, we don’t know how big the henchmen are, it’s possible Black Mask employs children. But we prefer to think that Batman’s thighs are just incredibly stretched out.

Page #29: His face is normal size

To misquote the Genie in Aladdin: The absolute Batman has infinite scope… a teeny tiny face. AB’s heavily manga-influenced appearance gives him a swollen body and a normal-sized head, which we can see when he holds the mask of a discarded Black Mask thug in front of his face as if he were Hamlet with Yorick’s skull, and they are same size.

Page #30: It’s not as wide as blueprints and not as big as a speeding train

After his first mission as Batman, we see Bruce in various situations while Alfred Pennyworth stalks him from a distance. At his job in construction he isn’t quite as wide as the blueprints he holds in his hand. His hands seem normal when he’s holding a phone on the train ride home (unless he has an iPhone Large or something). But when he gets off the train he has to duck. In NYC, the average train car door is about 6 feet tall, which, yes, it’s even taller (as we’ll see in a moment).

Page #33: Batman’s absolute height, weight and age…revealed!

Thanks to a mugshot of Bruce – he was arrested for some reason after his father died at the zoo when he was a child – we now know his height, weight and birthday. Although he tilts his head a little to the side, he appears to be about 1.80 meters tall. He weighs (or weighed, since this happened a few years ago) 220 pounds. And his birthday is February 19, 2004, which (according to Alfred) makes him 24 years old today. So that’s enough! We now know how tall Bruce Wayne is in Absolute Batman #1!

Page #39: It’s as big as the moon!

No, sorry, he’s as big as the moon, as you can clearly see after he crashes out of a glass building on his giant motorcycle. Case closed?

Absolute Batman #1 is available now from DC.

Absolute Batman #1 is full of surprises. Find out everything about them in our problem breakdown.