Donald Trump should probably just stay out of Pennsylvania

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Donald Trump should probably just stay out of Pennsylvania at this point

Donald Trump seems to be a glutton for punishment, at least when it comes to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

First, the tip of his ear is nearly blown off in Butler, Pennsylvania. It’s hard to believe, but that was only three months ago. Then he visits the place where “bad things happen” — Philadelphia, of course — to debate Vice President Kamala Harris. “Cackling Kamala” not only didn’t cackle, she literally dominated Trump, a man who doesn’t like to be dominated, during the debate. Not even Republicans could claim that Trump won.

But the debate was September. Now it’s October. And well… Donald Trump still seems to have a Pennsylvania problem. He made a bizarre appearance just outside Philadelphia on Monday evening. Yes, Trump does and says some bizarre things. But standing on a stage for 40 minutes just doing nothing while rally-goers wondered what the hell he was doing? For someone who can’t keep their mouth shut, that’s a whole other level of craziness. What do you think was going through his mind during those 40 minutes of awkwardness?

That was Monday. Now it’s Wednesday. And…a bunch of celebrities republican join Kamala Harris for a rally in, yes, Pennsylvania. Bucks County, to be exact.

If I were Donald Trump — and let me be clear: I’m glad I’m not — I would go straight to Mar-a-Lago and lock the door. Or buy a private island. In any case, it may be best to simply drop Pennsylvania from the Trump Jet itinerary.

The heat is (not) on

Yes, as my wife and children have been telling me for 24 hours, it is getting cold. No, that’s me not turn on the heating. Sure, it will be 39 degrees overnight, but God gave us flannel pajamas and extra blankets for that. And storm windows. (Seriously, you’re complaining to me about a cold while your storm window isn’t closed and you’re walking around in a tank top?) Highs will be in the low to mid 70s all weekend. So don’t tell me about turning on the heater. I call it December 1st – at the earliest. You always believed that living with me would be terrible. And now you have the proof.

But where will We get our tomato cake?

That’s what many people are wondering now that one of the region’s best tomato pie shops is closing its doors after more than 50 years. My answer? Marchiano’s – my family’s favorite restaurant for decades. Don’t sleep on their pepperoni and broccoli breads either!

Through the numbers

12: Height in feet of a skeleton towering over a Delco lawn. I’m sure a lot of people have skeletons on their lawns this time of year. Some are even 12 feet tall. But this one sticks around year-round, decorated for most holidays and even Philly sports team gear when we’re not being miserable. Meet Mr. Bonejangles.

$0: I’m betting that poll workers in Philadelphia will finish counting mail-in ballots on Election Day based on this new report, which also explains why Pittsburgh’s Allegheny County will likely count all of its votes before midnight. This gives Pittsburgh its only claim to supremacy over Philadelphia. Well, that and their six Super Bowl wins to our, uh, one.

85: For years, DiBruno Bros. existed in Philadelphia before it was acquired by Wakefern Food Corp., ShopRite’s parent company. No word on whether this means I go to ShopRite for a reason and suddenly find myself $100 poorer, like every time I walk into a DiBruno Bros. store.

Local talent

And the big news in the Philly superstar world is…well…Bradley Cooper is rocking a lot of “dad flannel” these days (note the Angelo hat in that one photo), as GQ feels the need to explain. Excuse me. Slow news day in the world of local celebrity. But now I’m wondering if I need to buy some flannel.