Being a bridesmaid can be expensive – that’s why Gen Z and Millennials no longer want to take on this role

Cultural perceptions of marriage may be changing, but the trend toward large weddings seems to be growing more and more each year—and the rising cost of bridesmaids doesn’t seem to be going down well with younger generations.

What is expected of bridesmaids?

The average cost of a wedding in the US rose by about 13 percent to $33,000 (€28,300) in 2024, according to wedding planning platform Zola. In Germany, more than half of the couples surveyed by Weddyplace in 2024 spent up to €15,000. 37 percent even spent up to €25,000.

Allison Cullman, VP of Brand Marketing and Strategy at Zola, told Business Insider that the number of couples planning welcoming parties in 2024 has increased by 23 percent in the past year. That means there are also more wedding weekends being extended by celebrations beyond a single wedding day. They also said there is an increase in destination weddings.

Being a bridesmaid may be a fraction of the cost of a wedding. But it still adds up in the thousands for many—and some Gen Z and Millennials have had enough.

A number of women have documented their bridesmaid expenses on social media and some have spoken out about how it can be okay to say no to being a bridesmaid.

It seems that the traditionally popular role of maid of honour or bridesmaid is becoming more of a burden than an honour for some. BI spoke to a number of bridesmaids, brides and wedding planners to understand the shift in perspective.

The financial burden is too high

Afrakomah Darko, 27, told BI that she has been a bridesmaid for her friends for the past three years and that the last wedding cost her more than $12,000. The bride also spent her share on the bridesmaids, Darko said, giving them Dior slippers.

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Still, the shared wedding expenses prompted Darko to post a video on TikTok in which she explained that she would no longer accept invitations to be a bridesmaid. “Recently, I’ve become more financially conscious because it’s really difficult right now,” Darko told BI. “I know a lot of friends who have lost their jobs.”

While inflation plays a big role in these rising costs and the reaction of some bridesmaids, social media also seems to be increasing the pressure of expectations for the events.

“Before, you had wedding magazines and binders – now you have multiple social platforms at your fingertips,” said Zolas Cullman, adding that most couples use social media as an influencer in the wedding planning process.

As celebrity and influencer weddings become regular social media events, couples are also comparing themselves to an “unrealistic” standard that is “way outside” their budget, Cullman said.

Brides demand too much

Some Gen Z also have a problem with excessive work, and being a bridesmaid can require a large personal time investment.

Cullman said that on average, wedding guests attend six or seven events for the couple. Some of the bridesmaids may also be asked to host a wedding reception or plan the bachelorette party, which could add to the time investment.

Meredith Bartel, a 30-year-old wedding planner, said some of those responsibilities might require taking vacations, traveling to other states, attending fittings, stuffing envelopes and tasting food for the wedding.

Stephanie Greenstreet, 27, lives in the UK and recently witnessed her sister’s death. The experience made her realise how much time she had to invest in addition to the financial costs. Although she said she was more than willing to do this for her sister, she said she understands how easy it is to lose sight of personal boundaries in the process.

Brides must adapt to their expectations

Bartel said she sees a growing number of women who regularly create requirement profiles that list the financial costs and social obligations for their bridesmaids when asking if they will accept.

Greenstreet said her sister sent her bridesmaids a proposal with a sheet that had all the costs and responsibilities listed. They also had one-on-one meetings with each bridesmaid to make sure they were comfortable with the responsibilities and costs.

Other brides cover some of the costs themselves. Cullman said usually the couple pays for something they requested, like hair and makeup, instead of a wedding gift.

“I think we’re finally seeing that shift where people are saying, ‘No, I don’t know if I can do that,'” Greenstreet said. “Especially if it’s not communicated properly.”

The original article is available on Business Insider