Kate Winslet joins the debate “Can women have it all?” and reveals how she deals with her guilty conscience as a mother

Kate Winslet had to accept that she couldn’t do everything to be happy.

The 48-year-old actress took part in the famous debate when she was asked how she balances her personal and professional life.

Speaking to Harper’s Bazaar UK, she explained: “For me, self-care is just having time to be and having time to be good to myself.”

“As women, we try to keep up with the pace of our lives and become frustrated when we don’t manage to fit in some exercise, or take the dog for a two-hour walk, or attend the games every single sports day, or drop the kids off at and pick them up from school.”

“I don’t go at it so hard because I know I just can’t achieve all these things – that’s becoming more and more important to me.”

Kate, mother of Mia Threapleton (23), Joe Mendes (20) and Bear (10), added: “I often feel most beautiful when I just relax. I’m working on getting better at relaxing.”

This philosophy is also shared by her good friend Emma Thompson. Kate said that she gave her a piece of advice that has stuck with her forever.

“When I was younger, she said to me, ‘Listen, baby, just remember, it’s really important to do good work, but it’s really important not to work.’ I never forgot that,” Kate revealed.

The Oscar-winning actress also spoke about how she gives equal importance to her physical and mental well-being.

She explained: “Women become more beautiful as they age. Our faces become more who we are, they fit our bone structure better, they have more life, more history.”

“Things that I find incredibly beautiful are wrinkles around the eyes and on the back of the hands.”

“But I’ve also learned that it’s important to take care of yourself from the inside out – not just how you eat and take care of yourself nutritionally, but how you take care of your mental well-being; how you feel about yourself emotionally and physically, your place in the world, how you move through the world, how you live with integrity and honesty.

“I think these things are important and they show in our appearance and of course in our feelings. Beauty is more of a feeling, [rather] than what we are looking at.’

Kate revealed that she eased her guilt as a mother by realising it was impossible to be there “for every single sports day, the games, and dropping the kids off and picking them up at school” (pictured with daughter Mia in 2001).

But over the years, what was most important to Kate was learning to accept herself and use her voice to protest against injustice.

Kate argued: “We are becoming more accepting of who we are, how our bodies and faces change and how we learn from life’s lessons. We need to learn to be more accepting of ourselves and other people.”

“When I started, it was not yet common for women to have a voice and stand up for themselves.

“It was certainly not the case that you could ever speak up about anything you felt uncomfortable with because it would have been perceived as a complaint.

“After MeToo and over the last decade, we’ve seen a huge increase in roles for women in our industry. There are a lot of brand new actresses doing incredible work and I think all of that really adds to an exciting industry that’s full of people who know how to use their voices and that becomes inspirational for others.

“Today, women are using their voices in remarkable ways, and that’s how I too have learned my worth and how to use my voice.

Kate is currently promoting “Lee,” a biographical drama about American ex-model Lee Miller, who took poignant photographs of the events of World War II for Vogue magazine.

In addition to Kate in the title role, Lee also stars Josh O’Connor, Marion Cotillard, Andy Samberg and Alexander Skarsgard.

Lee premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival in September 2023, but the film will not be released in UK cinemas until September 13.

Kate stars in “Lee,” a biographical drama about the story of American ex-model Lee Miller, who photographed poignant moments for Vogue magazine during World War II.