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topicnews · September 6, 2024

Insights into a Mormon swinger scandal: documentary series presents “MomTok” influencers

Insights into a Mormon swinger scandal: documentary series presents “MomTok” influencers

Two years ago, a sex scandal shook the foundations of a thriving online subculture of Mormon mothers.

MomTok, an online community founded by a group of Mormon influencers in Utah, rose to prominence on TikTok for its lifestyle and parenting content. Then one of its main founders, Taylor Frankie Paul, announced that she and her husband were getting a divorce — revealing that they had been in an open relationship and she had violated the terms.

Paul described the arrangement as “soft swinging” and said several couples in their circle of friends did the same thing. The revelation sparked widespread speculation about which other MomTok influencers were involved.

A new Hulu docuseries follows eight influencers as they struggle through the resulting chaos and tumult.

“The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” which hit theaters Friday, takes viewers through the aftermath as Paul and her fellow MomTokers struggle to save friendships and restore their reputations.

In interviews with NBC News, the eight women who appeared on the show said the scandal ultimately brought them closer together, despite initial drama that led some to avoid Paul.

“I think MomTok today is a group of women who, for better or worse, have chosen to stand by Taylor. And yes, we’ve been through tough times, but we’re all stronger now. And I think that’s a true testament to female friendship,” said Jessi Ngatikaura, 32, a mother of three who owns a hair salon and posts vlogs from her personal life and videos of hair transformations on TikTok.

Jessi Ngatikaura, Jennifer Affleck, Mayci Neeley, Taylor Frankie Paul, Mikayla Matthews, Layla Taylor and Demi Engemann in an episode of “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives”.Fred Hayes / Disney

When Paul, now 30, revealed her swinging arrangement in 2022, she explained to millions of followers that she and her then-husband Tate Paul had agreed that they could be intimate with the other members of their swinging group as long as both were present and neither went “all the way.”

“As long as we were both there and saw it and knew it, it was OK,” Paul said during the livestream. “And the second it goes without each other, then that’s [when] They pulled out of the agreement. And I did that.”

In other words, she admitted to cheating.

Two months later, Paul, who has two children with her ex-husband, introduced her new boyfriend Dakota Mortensen as “the guy [she] cheated with.” The now married couple had a child together at the beginning of the year.

Paul never mentioned the names of other swingers, but suddenly their influential friends and the wider Mormon MomTokers community assumed they were involved too, even though most of them were not.

It didn’t help Paul’s reputation when she was arrested last year during a fight with Mortensen. She was charged with assault and domestic violence in the presence of a child, and later pleaded guilty to aggravated assault.

“I was going 90 miles an hour at the time. I couldn’t even think straight,” Paul told NBC News. “I was also depressed, so I don’t even know if I could handle it. I think I was just surviving at the time and maybe making decisions that I’m not proud of today.”

Her behavior caused a rift in the MomTok community. During this time, Paul, who now has 4.1 million TikTok followers, continued to post about her struggles with divorce, co-parenting and mental health.

Paul said she was in a better place now.

Ngatikaura said that being an influencer can provoke negative reactions within the Mormon community, so she’s worried about the reaction to the show once it airs. But she and the other stars hope the series will also help viewers relate to them better.

“We’re excited to show that the show isn’t just about the salacious title, but about our real lives, our friendships and our problems,” said Ngatikaura. “I know women can relate to it, and that’s all we want.”

Mikayla Matthews, a mother of three with 2.4 million TikTok followers, said the scandal has caused her and other MomTokers to rethink whether participating in the community is worth it, despite the increasing scrutiny.

But Matthews, 24, said she realized that creating online content allowed her to explore life as a young person beyond being a stay-at-home mom – especially after losing many friends to her pregnancy at 16.

“You can go back to your teenage years, just let go, have fun and rediscover your interests and hobbies,” said Matthews. “I owe that to all the friends I’ve met through MomTok.”

Whitney Leavitt, a MomToker who posts dance and lifestyle content for her 2 million followers, expressed similar sentiments. As a creative, she feels like her identity is no longer limited to “cleaning up poop and feces all day long,” she said.

Still, the show also offers insight into her personal drama. Viewers see Leavitt, now 31 and pregnant with her third child, coping with the fallout from catching her husband on Tinder. She also opens up about a controversial dance video she filmed in the hospital with her baby, who had been admitted for a respiratory illness.

Layla Taylor, the youngest member of the cast at 23, said she hopes that through the documentary series, the MomTokers can show a wider audience that Mormon culture can accept other lifestyles, even if it can also lead to harsh judgments.

“So many people are in so many different stages of life and may be participating in things that you personally don’t agree with and don’t mean anything to you,” said Taylor, a mother of two who divorced her husband before filming the show. “But we’re all on our own separate paths in our faith, in our relationship with God.”